Hug Yourself (and Others) Accountable

I’m going to let you in on a secret. I have a hidden agenda.

Yes, I am on a mission to help more people to serve more people. But you already knew that. It’s my primary, very public agenda.

My hidden agenda, which I am revealing here, is:

to change the way most people think about accountability

Dictionary.com defines accountable this way:

subject to the obligation to report, explain, or justify something; responsible; answerable

Ouch! Who would actually get excited about being accountable when it’s defined like that?

Thankfully, I’ve encountered what I believe is a much better definition of accountability, courtesy of Mark Samuel, CEO of IMPAQ, who was a featured speaker in my Get Out Of Your Own Way interview series earlier this year. Mark and his team say accountability is:

Taking action consistent with your desired outcomes

Much better! I’ve since taken this a step further by contemplating the “hold accountable” action. How does it feel to be held accountable? Following the Dictionary.com definition, it would feel pretty awful most of the time.

Let’s be real. There are many times in our lives when we will have to follow through on something that fulfills an obligation to someone else. In those circumstances, “hold accountable” is an appropriate phrase, and we can make the most of it by doing our best work whether we want to or not.

But what if you get to do something that helps you achieve a goal that YOU chose? What would it feel like to be held accountable (by yourself and others) for taking action consistent with your OWN desired outcomes? I think it feels like a big hug.

TO HUG OR TO HOLD

Let’s further explore the difference between holding accountable and hugging accountable. Before you read on, make sure you understand Control vs. Influence. Got it? Ok, let’s go:

• HOLD YOURSELF ACCOUNTABLE: Make yourself do something you may or may not want to do, in order to achieve an outcome that originated from someone else’s desire.
  • In this scenario, you are putting constraints on your behavior to meet external expectations, attempting to respond to someone else’s motivation. This restriction can be gentle self-sacrifice in the name of the greater good, or can be much more stifling.
• HOLD OTHERS ACCOUNTABLE: Influence others to do something they may or may not want to do, in order to achieve an outcome that originated from someone else’s desire.
  • This is when you are basically directing another person who is not 100% enthusiastic about what needs to be done. This ranges from mostly joyful acceptance even though they are serving someone else’s goal, to full-on dread. Either way, if it’s gotta be done, it’s gotta be managed.
• HUG YOURSELF ACCOUNTABLE: Enable yourself to do something you want or need to do in order to achieve an outcome you strongly desire.
  • What happens here that differs significantly from holding yourself accountable? Expansion brought forth by your own motivation. When you take action in the name of your burning, inescapable desire to achieve your most ambitious goal(s), you will create more capacity in yourself. You are experiencing growth – increasing your potential, not merely fulfilling it. When you fully embrace an abundance mentality, you will see how your options and opportunities truly are limitless.
• HUG OTHERS ACCOUNTABLE: Encourage others to do something they want or need to do in order to achieve an outcome they strongly desire.
  • Instead of managing someone to hold them accountable, you are supporting their efforts to accomplish goals that are of utmost importance to them. You are also applying the abundance mentality here, celebrating the success of others rather than comparing your accomplishments to what they’ve been able to do.

WITH OPEN ARMS

If we are passionate about personal transformation and making a tremendous positive impact on the lives of the people we choose to serve, then intentionally hugging ourselves and others accountable is a great way to keep the promise of the Accountability Ambassador Pledge.

Now, make like Olaf and go give some hugs!

P. S. On June 7, 2021, I am honored to be the opening keynote speaker for the Creative Problem-Solving Institute (CPSI) Conference. In “Lifelong Learners Hug Themselves Accountable,” I share a simple, three-step process for maximizing the return on investment for every learning opportunity.