Control vs. Influence

QUICK QUIZ: Is this something you can control or influence?

1. Someone else’s behavior: __________

2. Your own behavior: __________

3. Someone else’s reaction to your behavior: __________

4. Your reaction to someone else’s behavior: __________

The quiz above is one I use in all my training sessions that feature accountability.  Also, I recently attended my daughter’s career fair at her elementary school (grades 3-5) and presented this same concept.  Once the term “influence” was explained, it clicked immediately and the quiz was completed with 100% accuracy by all students.  (I’m sure you also scored 100%. To reinforce your confidence, here are the answers: 1&3 are Influence; 2&4 are Control.)  Two key insights:

1. There is a difference between what you can control and what you can influence.  Therefore, doesn’t it make sense to focus on your own behavior?  You can leverage it to be your best self and to encourage others to follow suit.

2. You can influence almost your entire universe, and control a subset of it.  Most of the time, circumstances don’t happen to you.  YOU have the power to make things happen for yourself, if you are willing to take the actions necessary to achieve your desired outcome(s).

At the conclusion of the accountability lesson at the career fair, I welcomed the students as Accountability Ambassadors.  They were each given 4 badges, one to keep and 3 to hand out to other students caught in the act of accountability.  The badges stated: “I am accountable: I serve others by doing whatever it takes to be the best person I can be.”

Originally published June 2, 2017 on www.kiddenprep.com